I don't know...

So my mind lately has been just in turmoil over something that most think about or maybe they don't. For me it is the lack of knowing who I am. Let me explain when I was younger you were just a kid a person who did very little and had fun. But as I am older now all I do too often is spend time not having any idea of who I am. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Where do I belong? And let me stop now and say to anyone reading this, no this is not some cry for religious help or meaning in life. I kind of live in the mindset that what one does defines them and makes them who they are. By that alone, I am nobody. I struggle in my life to find what makes me...me. Just working and doing nothing when I am not working is no real purpose of existing. I often get that never enough feeling as well like no matter what I might find that gives me my identity is never enough. Almost like thinking to myself well if it is something I can't do all the time then why bother at all? I just wish I knew how to change and not feel this way all the time...


Comments

  1. KrisMarch 19, 2025 at 7:31 PM

    You are so far from nothing. You’ve brightened my day on multiple occasions, just by listening and providing me with online company. When we leave this life, these little bits of positive impact we have on others will mean so much more than anything else we do. And if you’re doing this for me, you’re definitely doing the same with many others.

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    Replies
    1. Life Changes for the BetterMarch 20, 2025 at 8:08 AM

      I get that part of it, but this is more like for me like why do I seem unable to find an identity within myself. Most people find something that makes them who they are and commit 100% to that, I am unable to do such it seems..

      Delete
    2. AnonymousMarch 20, 2025 at 8:18 AM

      I haven’t committed 100% to anything in my life. I know I’m a good person who cares about other people. I also know that I have my own shortcomings. I’m pretty aware of what those are. I don’t think I need any else to define myself by. Knowing those things is enough

      Delete
    3. Life Changes for the BetterMarch 20, 2025 at 8:37 AM

      I understand your take on it for sure. But it is different for me I need for others to see me and think in their mind, "oh I know that guy, he is a ......"

      Delete
  2. LaurieDecember 18, 2025 at 11:23 AM

    I’m not sure as many people commit themselves to something 100% like you believe, Jerry. Sure before I retired, I enjoyed drug research. But I also knew that if you don’t find something you like to do as an occupation, then it truly does become “work.” Now that doesn’t mean every day was easy, but it’s all a matter of perspective. I doubt I would have chosen that profession if I wasn’t open to a combination of opportunity and uncertainty. You have to be open to uncertainty if you want to take the risk of finding an unknown. Now that I’m retired, my life is a lot simpler. I only have two goals I want to achieve every day: #1 is to do a “good deed” that directly benefits another person in some way. And #2 is to learn something new. That doesn’t mean I have to learn quantum physics, but it keeps me from stagnating and also forces me to remain engaged in the world around me.

    Jerry, I feel you’re setting yourself up for frustration and failure with an all or nothing expectation. Start with baby steps, bruh, and see how something suits you before deciding if you want to embrace it more enthusiastically. You’re a smart guy and the fact that you are searching for answers is the first step, dude. ✌️

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